"Well, it's Christmas Eve once again and this year, instead of wanting to roast a certain Literature professor on an open fire (I'm off probation, by the way, and damn, it feels so good!), I'm mildly irked at my mother (what else is new?) but ready to spend the holidays with the 15 people I've come to know and love and/or tolerate and the one person I've come to finally accept. Independent Ter: Queen of the Run-on Sentence."

"The one that I have, however, is just as beautiful and looks amazing in here. It's copper and blue with embroidery and sequins, which is less tacky than it sounds."

"This morning was spent trimming candy cane slobber off my dog."

"Since I won't be here to regale you with an entry on Friday (and even if I did feel like updating from MB's, I'd be too snockered to type), I'm going to today -- a whole day early ::gasp!::"

"Lately, seems like I can't turn around without someone putting our names and marriage in the same conversation."

"I don't think there was once single inch on me that didn't hurt, wasn't stuffy, or wasn't threatening to shut down."

"Next thing I know I'm cupping my hand over my mouth and tugging on MB's shirt so he could get me to the bathroom. I remember him helping me upstairs and putting me to bed, with the stern order "Whatever you do, DON'T turn over!""

"That's my newest term lately -- porch monkies. I don't call them that to their faces, but in my mind, they're porch monkies."

"I'm off today to Round 2 of seminars and workshops as per request of my lovely Alma Mater. All part of their master plan to ruin what's left of my break under the careful guise of "Student Teaching Orientation". As if our 100 hours field experience wasn't an eye-opener."

"I'm getting anxious to start teaching, but at the same time a little scared. I know I'll do a good job, but I'm still nervous. More or less, I'm nervous that things won't go as planned or that they'll think I'm a wingnut."

"Friday already? Wasn't it just Monday? Holy cats!"

"Look at how goofy I am; all these firsts -- holidays, birthdays, anniversaries and such -- make me 9 kinds of giggly so that you can't tell me from the freshmen girls I teach."

"Wish this would all just magically disappear or suddenly get easier. Or something. Bah! I hate this!"

"Entry 100 -- whoo hoo!"

"V-day was the first time in about 10 years where I haven't worn all black, got out my goth makeup, and dirged my way through the day."

"Oh! Almost forgot my super-duper-awesome-fantastic news! Brace youself, as I may lose my shit... On March 25th... at 8 p.m... I will be sitting in the ice arena of the other college in town... sitting on the edge of my seat... as I am entertained by... Stephen Lynch... and... Lewis Black!"

"What I don't miss is my sponsor teacher. Sad, isn't it? If I had one, I'd give up my left nut to guarantee a better second placement."

"I'm shivering because I just indulged in about a fourth of a pint of Haagen-Dazs coffee ice cream. Yum! But brrr! So yea, this entry will be choppy because part of my brain is frozen, along with a finger or two."

"So far I've wanted to quit and become a freelance writer, a fry cook, and a used car salesperson. All are very rewarding, but none have the benefits (read: medical, dental, etc.) that teaching has... not that I'm going into teaching because of some insurance (although...)."

"Too tired for an entry. And too pissed. And too frustrated. And too... yeah."

"You’d think that would have sent the message to the rest of the little weasels to knock off the bullshit, and they did… for 30 seconds."

"I need to remember to hold on to that feeling I had this summer. I know that girl is in me somewhere, I just need to hug her and remind her that this is a learning experience and try to take as much as I can from it so that I can become the best teacher I can be."

"Usually I make an attempt at wit and I would now, only I don't give a shit."

"Signed, oh yeah!"

"In a pseudo-April Fool's Day joke, my car decided to irk me."

"So I called Daddy, who drove 40 minutes to help me out... only to find out that I had stupidly put my car in NEUTRAL and not PARK, thereby making the key stick in the lock. In a strange twist of fate, Mom thought it was funny. Go Mom!"

"This is a historic moment and I have no idea what to say except "poor guy". Don't I feel like an ass now."

"Good Saturday morning (it's still morning here, so don't even... and now I sound like MB. That'll happen after almost a year... on the 24th, thank you for asking)."

"I'm not the president of this guy's fan club or anything, but it's someone to share expenses with, so yeah, I'll put up with his holier-than-thou and "all the teaching methods we learned this summer suck" attitude for 2 days."

"I need to work on Mom to get her to see that me going down to spend a few days with MB isn't going to bring about Armageddon."

"This is our first spring in this house, and apparently the woman who lived here before us, though disabled, didn't see the point in hiring a lawn person because there were enough leaves under bushes and lying in thick piles around here for us to start our own forest, local National Park be damned."

"(apparently my corner of the East coast remembered that the weather is supposed to suck here until well into July, where for an hour and a half we have summer before it snows again)"

"Point taken, so we let Cal Dawg get shaggier and shaggier and shaggier until she came to resemble a dwarf sheep."

"Not that MB isn't a decent housekeeper, but goshdarnitalltoheck I spent a lot of energy turning his stove from gray to white back in August and it was a complete mess."

"The rest of the night found me on a bar stool in a corner, swaying back and forth slowly, singing at the top of my lungs to whatever was on the sound system and downing (I think) 2 glasses of Labatt's (better known as Canadian Piss Water), which was on top of my 2 glasses at the alley and can at MB's. Which isn't much to some people, but I'm an alcoholic wuss. I wasn't just drunk, I was druuuuuuuuuuuuuunk, as the picture I took of MB and I with his cell phone clearly shows (it's mostly me, which shows how good my aim was)."

"I heart hangovers. Not."

"We went to the zoo. That is not a metaphor."

"I wasn't going to update this early, and then I thought, "What the hell?" Who needs to be early for work, right?"

"Heaven forbid I have an idea of my own. I haven't had my own idea and it be okay with Mom since I was about 11. I readily admit I've made some wingnut decisions over the years, but moving out of this house and in with MB is one of the good ones, I promise, I swear."

"Godspeed, graduation. Godspeed."

"Friday the 13th -- eesh!"

"I am unbelievably proud of them, even the handful of wingnuts."

"Must e-mail my most favoritest wingnut professor."