previous // March 06, 2008
// 2:29 p.m. // next
May as well join all the cool kids and comment on the new D-land layout. In short, it's okay. I've been with D-land for 7 years in December (holy cats, that's insane!) and in that whole time I've looked at the same ol' design. In fact, it just occurred to me that I've been here that long and I hadn't noticed! Mostly it's because I've kept several diaries here in my tenure, this being the longest next to kenjigrl (anyone remember when I wrote there? I killed that diary just shortly after starting this one). In all, I've played with 6 diaries counting this one, and this one and kenj were the only two I kept up on any regular basis.
Anyway, this isn't about me (contradiction: this is my diary, so which is it? Discuss). My point is at least an attempt has been made to give D-land a facelift and while it's not state-of-the-art or whatever, it's not the periwinkle blah that we've seen forever.
With that said, I'm subbing tomorrow and while it's for a teacher whose students gave me hard time for earlier in the year, I'm 1) hopeful they've calmed down, and 2) in desperate need of the paycheck, even if it doesn't come this week. I hate my money situation right now. I can't save to, well, save myself. ::insert temper tantrum here:: I'd love to be rid of subbing, and everyone I talk to that is or was a sub comiserates that it is a hellish job that we wouldn't wish on our enemies (although... no, maybe not).
::sigh:: My brain has been erratic all week. I chalk it up to undiagnosed ADD but really I'd love nothing more than a break from grading, students, responsibility, worry, debt, etc. etc. etc. ::puke:: I've found myself getting back into addictive habits, namely loading up my mp3 player with everything I can get my fingers on, playing inordinate amounts of EQII, obsessively checking MySpace and Facebook (among other sites), and thinking of eleventy-bajillion story ideas and completely forgetting to write any of them down. Hell, I had at least sixty-four entry starters for this diary alone on the way to work today and do you think I can remeber a dang blast one?
I'm beginning to wonder if I'm not a hypochondriac and think I'm manic-depressive. I also wonder how much of the worry and weirdness I put myself through is self-inflicted. I'm probably right there, since I have recently self-diagnosed anxiety disorder with a side of social anxiety.
To those of you just joining the Independent Ter bandwagon, I'm not usually this chaotic and twirly. Usually.
I'll feel better tomorrow when I get paid. Believe me, they say that money isn't everything, but when you don't have it... damn, it sure is something!
Meanwhile... back at the ranch... I think I'm getting rambly, which I hate to be and continue to do anyway for some reason. I'm in a chatty mood lately. I'll spill whatever's on my mind to whomever I'm with, cut someone off accidentally to throw out my two cents, and in general just speak sometimes to hear the sound of my own voice. I guess that's why I have verbal diarrhea today. I'm even wondering if it's because I've wanted to write anything -- short story, novel, etc. -- and just haven't felt inspired and now it's all coming tumbling out here. Yow.
And now I get to go teach in an hour. Huzzah!
Muddled and happy about it,
Thanks for reading,
Ter
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